It is one week before I leave and I do not feel like I am supposed to. Where are those feelings of sheer excitement that I had only a few days ago? The date is getting nearer but why does it feel like an impending doom, a jagged rock in the pit of my stomach? The truth is, reality is starting to hit me. In exactly one week I will have to say goodbye to the people I love most in this world, venture over Asia direction and fend for myself. 
A Google search of “am I crazy to travel solo when I’m in a 5 year relationship?” definitely does not help this situation. Tears are shed and I actually tell myself “sure, I just don’t have to go…on this trip…I have been planning for months…eh, NO FECKING WAY SINEAD!” You know what, these feelings are normal before a massive adventure like this one. Sure, excitement, joy and curiosity take control 65% of the time but for the remainder of said time, I am riddled with this sick “oh balls!” feeling. Travel around the world on my lonesome, why? Shouldn’t I be settling down and continue the climb up the ever growing career ladder? I start to question my motives here – I must be mental?! Again, a normal feeling! It is completely ok to feel shit scared of the day you have to leave it all behind and not know 100% where you are going and for how long. It’s ok to have these “oh balls” moments before you go when you know you will have to say goodbye to your family, friends and ever supportive boyfriend and not actually know when you will see him again, not being able to physically be there for all the wonderful events as he continues on his adventure and I on mine.
One week to go…oh balls!
this crow flies 